Friday, March 9, 2018

G'nite   Chicken Mom

The Chicken Ranch

 My uncle was in the fertilized egg business when I was
 young. He  had several hundred young layers, called pullets,
 and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
 My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't
 perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this
 took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of
 eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he
 promptly bought them.

 He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft
 so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken.
 He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and
 mixed a Mint Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and
 sip while filling out an efficiency report on the
 roosters by listening to the different tones of the
 bells and marking down each encounter. My uncle's
 favorite rooster was old Brewster. Brewster was a fine
 specimen, but his bell didn't ring all morning. Uncle
 went to investigate.

 Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.
 Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd
 sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the
 next one. Chagrined at first, Uncle was soon so proud
 of Brewster he entered him in the county fair.

 Brewster was an overnight sensation. They not only
 awarded him the No Bell prize but also the Pullet

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